Top 5 Jones'

Oddly inspired to do this after watching Norah Jones on Later with Jools Holland. I've actually done this top five before as part of the PRS focus group but that one was focused solely on music.

1. Booker T. Jones - Multi instrumentalist and song writer best known for his work with the MGs and Stax Records.



2. Halo Jones - Lead character from Alan Moore's 2000AD story "The Ballad of Halo Jones" and comic book hottie.



3. Brian Jones - Guitarist and founding member of the Rolling Stones who died less than a month after being told he was out of the band.



4. Indiana Jones - Dr Henry Walton Jones Jr to give him his official title.



5. Lance-Corporal Jack Jones - Permission to speak Sir? The comedy genius that is Clive Dunn's portrayal of Jonesy on Dad's Army. They don't like it up 'em.

Top 5 Peanuts characters

I'm reading the Andrew Collins book "Where Did It All Go Right". It's based on diaries he kept as a boy growing up in Northampton in the seventies. Quite amusing in parts and filled with great nostalgic detail about a time when I was a similar age. He briefly mentions a list of his favourite Peanuts characters (the cartoon by Charles M. Schulz for those who don't know). It brought back some memories for me and had the inevitable result ...

1. Linus



2. Schroeder



3. Woodstock



4. Snoopy



5. Lucy van Pelt



I think there's a little of Linus in all of us. No place for Charlie Brown but without him none of these characters would have any meaning.

Top 5 Bands I've seen play live most frequently (and other stats)

Or, in other words, an excuse for me to reel off some stats that I've found out since I discovered the wonders of Song Kick.

This is my gigography a record of every gig I've been to. Currently that's 382 according to my SongKick profile although that doesn't include "pub gigs" which brings my official tally to 402. That might sound like a lot but it is over 23 years and if I have discovered anything from using SongKick it's that I'm small fry compared with some people!

Of course, I knew how many gigs I'd seen already but Song Kick provides a smart front end that lets users add set lists, reviews, photos or video as well as a facility to track venues or artists you want to see live. All brilliant fun for a list nerd like me and the latest reason I've found to be sitting on the computer when I really should be doing something more useful with my time.

So, who are the bands I've seen live the most? I don't think there will be any surprises here for anyone who knows me well. My music tastes have changed over the years but this nails me down to the 4 or 5 years when I was enjoying the twin benefits of living at home and working, which just happened to coincide with "The Prog Years".

1. Marillion (32 times)

2. Status Quo (30 times)

3. Fish (21 times)

4. Jethro Tull (20 times)

5. IQ (8 times)

An added bonus, as it's been a while since I did a top five, these are the venues I've visited the most.

1. Town & Country Club/London Forum (51 times)

2. Hammersmith Odeon/Apollo (47 times)

3. Wembley Arena (32 times)

4. Brixton Academy (22 times)

5. London Astoria (19 times)

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Top 5 Things about Shepperton

We've lived in Shepperton for almost seven years now and are very much at home. It has the same suburban village feel I grew up with in Thames Ditton. It's the sort of place trendy alternative comics would have ripped to pieces in the 80's but I've come to realise it's the sort of place I like to be. I couldn't hack living in the City, however exciting and vibrant it might be, and I don't think I'd cope that well in the Country either. Suburbia is like Baby Bear's porridge. It's not too salty nor too sweet. It's just right.

1. Shepperton Studios - Originally opened in the early thirties, Shepperton Studios remains an active and important part of British cinema. The list of films made there is both extensive and impressive; The Third Man (1949), The Omen (1976), Alien (1979), Ghandi (1982) and Shakespeare In Love (1999) to name a few. Despite the scale of production involved the studios are actually tucked away and only a modest sign and the occasional dayglo direction signs give any indication of what's going on.

2. Home to author J.G. Ballard - The late James Graham Ballard lived with his family in Shepperton since the late fifties. I was quite excited when I first found out the author of "Empire of the Sun" and "Crash" was a fellow resident but disappointingly never saw him around town. I wondered what effect Shepperton had on Ballard's literature and found this article which has some rather bleak looking photos. It also includes some quotes and passages from JGB about the town including a fantastic description of Shepperton residents as "exotic marine creatures with the dream-filled minds of aquatic mammals".

Other famous residents include the actor Frank Finlay, Peter Moran who played Pogo Patterson in Grange Hill and Ray Dorset of Mungo Jerry fame.

3. It's destruction in "The War of The Worlds" - That's the H.G. Wells novel of course not some forthcoming event I have precognition of (Sorry, been watching too much "Peep Show" lately, I'm starting to sound like David Mitchell). There's a whole chapter titled "What I Saw of the Destruction of Weybridge and Shepperton" which describes the destruction of the town by Martian invaders. We live in a Victorian semi which was built around 1881, some 17 years before the book was published. It added an extra reality to the novel and to my mind we're damn lucky our house is still in one piece.

4. The Damned play Live - Yep, they did and there's an album to prove it. Appropriately titled "Live at Shepperton 1980" it captures a fan club gig from 29th July and was originally released as the fourth side of the double vinyl "Black Album". This got me quite excited as I couldn't imagine what venue they played at. The Village Hall? The Kings Head? The roof of the post office sorting depot? Turns out they played at Shepperton Studios, which is a little disappointing based on my early impression of being able to pop down the local and see a chart topping punk band for a fiver. Shepperton's not renowned for its live music scene the only band I've seen play was my pal Gibbo's first group (Never Before Midnight) who played their final show at the Village Hall in the early 90's. However, I've just discovered that rock legends Uriah Heap also played live at the studios as recorded by the equally appropriately named "Uriah Heep - Live at Shepperton". Shepperton, Rock City!

5. Shepperton Village Fair Raft Race - OK, I'll admit I'm struggling a bit now but the raft race really does have to been seen to be believed. The Village Fair has been a fixture in the calendar for over 35 years. The raft race is always a highlight and this year some 42 "vessels" took part. It's not so much a race as a procession but there's something wonderfully British about watching the never ending stream of home made craft wobble their way round the bend in the river all in the name of charity. Maybe these are the "exotic marine creatures" of Ballard's mind.

Top 5 Footballs

As a kid my favourite ball to kick about in the back garden was a light bouncy plastic one. The sort you can get from Tesco for a quid now. I had a George Best Soccer Special which had his signature on and looked a bit like an Adidas Telstar. I liked it because even the gentlest of taps would cause it to fly down the garden at top speed. I was able to recreate Alan Sunderland's Cup winning goal for Arsenal, sliding in to fire home between the two trees that provided my goalposts. My other ball was an old fashioned leather one. It was heavy and under inflated but it was good to use on windy days or during periods when my George Best Soccer Special was nestling in a neighbours bush and I wasn't allowed to climb the fence to get it back.

1. Adidas Tango

This is the classic Adidas design that graced World Cups, in various forms, from 1978 until 2002. It's a brilliantly simple yet eye catching design. When Adidas decided they'd try something different in 2002 it really didn't work. The Fevernova might have had some fancy colours but it just looked wrong.



2. Adidas Telstar

For anyone who grew up watching football through the sixties and seventies THIS is what a ball was supposed to look like. Simple and straightforward with a great name. Also the first Adidas World Cup ball used at both 1970 and 1974 competitions.



3. Slazenger "Special Edition"

This is the 1966 World Cup ball but represents the classic "old style" ball that have survived from the early 1900's. Made from heavy leather with thick laces tying the whole thing together it was a solid lump which makes the skill and technique achieved by players from that era all the more impressive. Even so it was a massive improvement on the 7 or 8 panel balls they used in the 1800's. That really must have been like kicking a lump of concrete.



4. Mitre Ultimax

Mitre designs haven't changed a great deal over the years. In the eighties their Delta 1000 was the ball of choice for Football League games. The Ultimax is the current Mitre ball and I like the colour scheme more than any of their "classic" styles.



5. Adidas Champions League

Yeah, I am running out of choices. I don't really like any of the fancy Nike, Puma or Pony designs so it's back to Adidas. The Star effect has been used for many of the recent Champions League finals and as a contemporary design I think it works pretty well.



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Top 5 Indian Curry dishes

The school summer holidays are all but over and I've completely failed to build up a stock pile of top fives to kick start me on the weekly routine again. Think it could be a while before I've found enough time to get something decent written but I'm fed up with seeing the Wombles at the top of the page so here's a quicky on my favourite currys.

1. Chicken Dhansak - My new favourite curry. Chicken and lentils in a rich spicy sauce that gives a medium heat and slightly sweet taste.

2. Chicken Jalfrezi - Former number one which is about as hot as I can take. You can at least leave a few chillis if you're struggling.

3. Chicken Korai - Sizzling sauted chicken with onions. Good choice if you don't fancy a sauce.

4. Lamb Rogan Josh - It's not often I don't pick Chicken but this is a classic curry that is great for a bit of a change.

5. Chicken Tikka Masala - The first proper curry dish I ever tried.

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Top 5 Wombles

Flicking through the channels the other day we stumbled across an episode of the Wombles. A great opportunity to show the boys what "proper kids television" is all about we thought. But no! This was a nineties remake and hugely disappointing in comparison to my memories of the seventies original. Based on the stories of Elisabeth Beresford the BBC show (which ran from 1973-1975) was directed by children's television legend Ivor Wood. Wood was a stop motion animator who also created The Magic Roundabout (with Serge Danot), The Herbs, Paddington and Postman Pat. The Wombles were all voiced by Bernard Cribbins and had a theme tune so catchy I can still remember every word. They went on to release their own album (a record that might have been the first that I owned) and even appeared on Top of The Pops with the Womble costumes filled by a host of rock legends.

1. Tobermory



2. Orinoco



3. Wellington



4. Great Uncle Bulgaria



5. Madame Cholet



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Top 5 Blake's 7 crew members

Created by Terry Nation (the man who invented the Daleks), Blake's 7 was the BBC's answer to Star Wars. It was the talk of the playground in 1978 and quickly became the must see programme for boys under twelve. When Blue Peter showed us how to make a Liberator transporter bracelet its similarity to those seen on screen hinted at the budget the show was working with. Despite this the programme grew in popularity thanks mainly to an eclectic cast of characters, not least Servalan the Federation Supreme Commander who provided the lead villain. Servalan was played superbly by Jacqueline Pearce who provided a mixture of fear and sexual tension whilst creating a persona that seemed like a hybrid of Margaret Thatcher and Darth Vader. The crew themselves were a rogues gallery of criminals and freedom fighters who appeared doomed to failure but always found a way to survive.

1. Vila Restal (Michael Keating) - Natural thief and lock cracker with a high sense of self preservation bordering on cowardice.



2. Kerr Avon (Paul Darrow) - Cold hearted pragmatist who retained a dry sense of humour and provided some of the show's wittiest moments when vocally sparring with Vila.



3. Roj Blake (Gareth Thomas) - Idealistic leader of the resistance movement who managed to break free of Federation brain washing to lead the team of rebels with a cause.



4. Cally (Jan Chappell) - Telepathic humanoid alien who began the series as a hardened rebel freedom fighter but became a bit of a mystical hippy.



5. Olag Gan (David Jackson) - Gentle giant who provided the hint of muscle but had a Federation limiter implanted in his brain to prevent him from killing.



The other two members of the original seven were former smuggler Jenna Stannis (Sally Knyvette) and the Liberator's partly telepathic computer Zen (voiced by Peter Tuddenham). Read more about the series at Betty's Guide to Blake's 7

Top 5 Men on the Moon

Last Monday (20th July) marked the 40th anniversary of the first men to walk on the moon. I was 1 at the time so don't have any genuine memories of the event but growing up in the "space age" had a major influence on my life. Not least in kick starting an early phase of my minor compulsive disorder for collecting stuff. I spent ages trying to complete the PG Tips "Race Into Space" card set and that led on to further obsessions with "Prehistoric Animals" and "The History Of Aviation". Space is still cool and forty years on only 12 men have ever set foot on the moon.

1. Neil Armstrong Apollo 11 (and first man on the moon)



2. Alan Shepard Apollo 14 (and the oldest man to walk the moon - Shepard was also the second man in space, 23 days after Yuri Gagarin)



3. Buzz Aldrin Apollo 11 (second man on the moon who, when called "a coward, a liar, and a thief", punched Bart Sibrel [the moon landing hoax proponent] in the face - Buzz was 72 at the time)



4. John Young Apollo 16 (and Apollo 10 which orbited the moon but was not scheduled to land - So near and yet so far)



5. Charlie Duke Apollo 16 (and Capcom for Apollo 11)

Top 5 Neogolistic words

More Washington Post based fun following lasts week's alternative definitions. The WP also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

1. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

2. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

3. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

4. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

5. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.