Chop’s Fives: Daytime TV

I needed a topic that was a little easier to manage this week and for some reason Daytime TV has been in my thoughts a lot more over the last few months. Can’t think why. 

1. Bargain Hunt - Hands down my favourite daytime programme. It’s become part of our lockdown routine as we aim to have lunch when it’s on and have now set up a series link so it doesn’t matter if we’re late eating. The temptation is to try and have a go but I think we’ve seen enough episodes now to know we’d make a massive loss. 

2. Win, Lose or Draw - Initially hosted by Danny Baker (who I have something of a love/hate relationship with) this was effectively Pictionary for telly and featured mixed teams of celebrities alongside members of the public. Danny was at his witty best so it was disappointing when Shane Ritchie took over and the show list some of its irreverence. Shane only lasted one series before being replaced by Bob Mills who became my favourite host. 

3. Countdown - I’ve been watching this on and off since Channel 4 launched in 1982. I’m still embarrassingly awful at the word games (always figured I might improve with a pen & paper to hand but almost 40 years have gone and I’ve not made the effort) but I am slightly more successful with the numbers. 

4. The Mallorca Files - This is a more recent discovery. It’s a little like Death in Paradise so feels like an evening programme with a slightly reduced budget. I love a murder mystery and this ticks all my boxes. It benefits from a sunny island setting, which was just what we needed in the depths of a lockdown winter, and has two very watchable leads. 

5. A Country Practice - Long running Australian medical drama that initially seemed dreadful but won me over in an era when television options weren’t as plentiful as they are now. It had quite a large cast, who often dropped in an out but helped create a broad dramatic dynamic. 

Top TV Shows I watched in 2016

Largely due to my obsession with keeping my TiVo below 30% I watched quite a bit of telly this year. In between the bland & average there was some brilliant original television.

1. Deutschland 83 (Series 1) - Jonas Nay was simply fabulous as a naive Stasi double agent. This had thrills aplenty, a great cast and exhuberantly colourful cinematography.

2. Fleabag (Series 1) - Brilliant if very black comedy. Great writing & performance from Phoebe Waller-Bridge.

3. The Night Manager (Series 1) - A heart stopping John Le Carre thriller with the odd bit of silliness. Hugh Laurie excels as the fantastically nasty villain.

4. Trapped (Series 1) - My Nordic obsession continues, this time it's in Iceland.

5. Raised by Wolves (Series 1 & 2) - Alright babs? Very surprised Channel 4 didn't renew this. Caitlin Moran's attempt to use kickstarter to fund a third series failed but perhaps there's still life in series yet.

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Top 5 TV Shows I watched in 2015

A strong year for television I thought, though perhaps because of a few excellent shows that stood out from the bulk of average stuff. There were some strong contenders that didn't make the list though; Parks & Rec (Series 4), Catastrophe (Series 1 & 2) and This Is England '90 being the closest.

5. The Bridge (Series 3) - The third series of my favourite show from 2012 & 2014 was just as good as the previous ones but trails in 5th place because I'd not finished watching it at time of writing (and was up against some stiff competition). I was worried the loss of Kim Bodnia would have an impact but if anything Saga's new partner, played by Thure Lindhardt, has made this series even better.

4. Count Arthur Strong (Series 2) - I suspect this is an acquired taste but I think, at it's best, it was the funniest show on telly all year. Two episodes in particular elevated this above top comedy contenders such as the final series of Peep Show and Sharon Horgan & Rob Delaney's Catastrophe. I watched the episode where Arthur is mistaken for a flying instructor 3 or 4 times and it got funnier every time. Similarly the episode when Arthur is almost conned by a dodgy plumber, which turns into a pastiche of the Stephen King film Misery was just as good.

3. Spiral (Series 5) - The 5th series of this French detective drama was my top show for most of the year but got pipped at the post by two excellent shows. I think this is the first series I've caught on initial airing but it felt like I really know the characters well now and worked all the better for that familiarity. Laure is still the star though and coping with being pregnant didn't slow her down a great deal.

2. Detectorists (Series 2) - I'd enjoyed the first series of Mackenzie Crook's subtle sitcom but it took a while to work its charm. This second series seemed to be great from the off. Maybe the benefit of knowing the characters and understanding the pace and style but this was a huge improvement to my mind with a wonderfully feel good conclusion. The Christmas Special was excellent too.

1. Fargo (Series 2) - Similarly to Detectorists, the second series of Fargo outstripped the first by some distance. The influence of the Coen Brother's is clear though this series has developed a life of it's own. The casting is great too. Big stars like Ted Danson and Kirsten Dunce in less typical roles and rising stars like Nick Offerman and Cristin Milioti putting in fantastic turns. The coup de grace is the way they link the story to series 1. I may have just been a little slow but it caught me completely by the surprise. Magnificent telly, I hope they'll find a way to make a third series.

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Top 5 TV Shows I saw in 2014

I spent most of 2014 trying to get through the backlog of TV programmes on my TiVo. I was fighting a losing battle as the faster I watched stuff the more I recorded so the box rarely dropped below 50% full. We went to Cornwall for a week in August and by the time we got back the box was over 80% full and I don't think it ever recovered. The box died totally a few weeks later and I lost a lot of telly, saw loads of good stuff before it failed though so we're cool for a top 5.

1. The Bridge (Series 2) - My favourite show of 2012 was back for a second series and didn't disappoint. The fallout from the first story runs through the plot this time and brought a different feel to the show but the drama remained strong and the pace of the plot was perfectly pitched. The two lead actors, Sofia Helin & Kim Bodnia, are exceptional and the show really revolves around the magic of their on-screen chemistry.

2. Parks & Recreation (Series 3) - And my favourite show of 2013 comes a close second. Hot on the heels of Series 2 BBC carried on showing this fabulous comedy. Some extended story arcs including the complete shutdown of Pawnee government departments due to budget constraints and the on/off love affair between Andy and April worked really well but the strength of the show is in it's ensemble cast who all have their moments to shine.

3. Line of Duty (Series 2) - Finally something from the UK. I'd enjoyed the first series of this though it didn't quite make my top 5 from that year. This series had me gripped from the start though. Martin Compston & Vicky McClure reprised their roles from the first series and were both excellent though powerful performances from Mark Bonnar and Keeley Hawes really raised the game. There were twists and turns a plenty and you were never quite sure who was good and who was bad. There was also a nice cameo from Jessica Raine early on which made it clear this was a drama that wasn't going to play by the rules.

4. Stewart Lee Comedy Vehicle (Series 3) - The funniest series yet for Lee's Comedy Vehicle, this one had me laughing out loud more than anything else I saw this year. Particular respect for the UKIP episode in which Lee nails everything appalling about the rise of that party and shows them up for the sham of a party they really are. The Shilbottle episode was also superb, proving Lee doesn't always have top be political to get a good laugh.

5. The Walshes (Series 1) - Only three episodes but this was shown again on BBC2, after an initial run on BBC4, so I've seen them all at least twice. They crammed enough laughs into the episodes to knock most six episodes series into a crocked hat too, though it did take me a while to fully appreciate this. Created by comedy group Diet of Worms but with added writing flourish & directorial skills from Graham Linehan, I'm hoping they'll be back with a longer series next time out.

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Top 5 TV Shows I saw in 2013

2013 was another year when I recorded more stuff than I could possibly watch. Whilst the TiVo makes recording programs very easy it has quickly become the equivalent of having a huge box of videos you never get round to viewing. I'd previously managed to keep things reasonably balanced at around 50% capacity but before Christmas I was well over 65% full and decided to take drastic action. Grimm (Season 2) and New Girl (Season 2) where wiped and Homeland (Season 2) only survived the cull thanks to it's relatively low number of episodes. Despite this I still saw some excellent telly.

1. Parks & Recreation (Season 2) - I picked up on this thanks to Andrew Collins who reviews television for the Guardian (amongst other things). The six episode first season didn't really grab me but I stuck with it and found season 2 got better & better. This was originally planned as a spin-off from the US version of The Office but ended up being a new stand-alone show. I've not seen the US Office but can see how Parks & Rec follows a similar fake documentary style to the UK Office. Amy Poehler's stars as Leslie Knope deputy director of the Parks and Recreation Department in the fictional Indiana town of Pawnee. She is very much the centre of everything that happens but is supported by a very fine cast of characters, especially the marvelously deadpan Ron Swanson (played by Nick Offerman).

2. Les Revenants - French zombie thriller with a glacial pace that had me riveted from start to finish. I had to include at least one subtitled entry and this was comfortably the winner (though I also enjoyed the 4th series of Spiral). It's beautifully shot and, whilst it might not be everyone's cup-of-tea, I felt the slow build and gradual plot reveal added to the power of the story. Of course, the Mogwai backing music helped get me in the mood considerably. By the time it reached Channel 4, as The Returned, I was already very familiar with the soundtrack album which suited the story and plot perfectly.

3. Community (Season 3) - I'm not sure how I've failed to feature Community in a TV top 5 before. Season 4 came out in 2013 but was slightly under-par compared to the previous shows. It was the first to be made without series creator Dan Harmon on board but still had some outstanding moments (the episode where Pierce locks himself inside the panic room of his mansion and the series finale - both written by previous Guest Top 5 provider Megan Ganz - were both highlights). However, I watched most of Season 3 in 2013 and that was superb. It includes some of my very favourite episodes (the episode where Shirley teaches Jeff how to win at Foosball whilst Annie stages a robbery to cover up breaking Abed's special edition DVD of The Dark Knight & "Digital Estate Planning" where the gang are animated as 8-bit video game characters & have to complete to win Pierce's inheritance). The bottom line is it's very funny and you should watch it as soon as you can.

4. The Enigma of Nic Jones: Return of Britain’s Lost Folk Hero - Nic Jones is a British folk legend. His 1980 record Penguin Eggs is regarded as a classic. In 1982, at the peak of his career, Nic was involved in a near-fatal car crash on the way home from a gig. He broke almost every bone in his body and suffered neurological damage that meant he would never play his guitar in front of an audience again. I'd never heard of him prior to watching this BBC documentary but found this film, which explores how influential his music has been as well as documenting his return to the live stage, utterly enthralling and very emotional. Encouraged by friends and family, Nic returned to the stage to play several festival performances accompanied by his son, Joe Jones, on guitar and keyboard player Belinda O'Hooley. The concerts were a resounding success and for his old and new fans, a moving comeback for their musical hero. I've watched it twice now and, I'll be honest, I blubbed both times.

5. Fresh Meat (Series 3) - Not quite as good as Series 1 or Series 2 but still very funny. As with the two American series at 1 & 3, Fresh Meat has a great ensemble cast who have grown into their characters as the show develops. Greg McHugh, as Howard, gets more of an active role this time round and is one of the few characters to find things going reasonably well. Everyone else seems to be struggling to cope with various mishaps and this does have a bit of a downer on the group dynamics. That aside, Zawe Ashton, as Vod, is still the brightest star and has some spectacular moments, including the episode where her alcohol dependent mother comes to stay and makes a play for J.P.

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Top 5 TV Shows I Saw in 2012

I watched A LOT of television in 2012. We got a TiVo box at the end of the previous year so 2012 was the first year for some time that I'd been able to record everything and anything that I might want to watch (we still had a video but I could no longer be bothered to find a tape that had space on it or work out the complicated series of operations that allowed me to record over night or when we were away). The TiVo made things a little too easy which inevitably lead me to go slightly over the top. I'm now in a constant battle to keep the box below 50% despite knowing that I record more each day than I can watch.

My top five turned out to be full of foreign imports (at one point it was almost entirely Scandinavian subtitled imports) so to bring a bit of balance to proceedings this week provides a bumper edition with three top fives for the price of one! I can only apologise.

Top 5 TV Shows in 2012

1. The Bridge - This really was the stand out television programme of the year for me. I was on the edge of my seat for most of it and reckon even the most sub-title averse viewer would enjoy it. At times it was laugh out loud funny, with the brilliant but flawed partnership between Saga Norén (Sofia Helin) and Martin Rohde (Kim Bodnia) at the heart of all that was good about the show.

2. The Killing II - The first series of The Killing had left me somewhat drained (in a good way) so it took me a while to summon up the courage to dive into the second series (similarly I've not yet watched The Killing III which was aired just before Christmas). In the end I devoured this series in a number of days and wished I'd watched it sooner. It had a lighter touch that series one, as well as a new jumper for Sarah Lund. There was less angst over the murder and more mystery over what has really gone on but it retained the same tense drama and interesting character moments of the previous story.

3. Homeland (Series 1) - This was more gripping TV that belted along and built to a thrilling conclusion. Clare Danes occasionally annoyed with her attempts to convey someone coping with a bi-polar disorder whilst trying to hold down a senior role with the CIA. I was also bemused by the likelihood that Brody would even consider cheating on his, frankly, seriously hot wife with anyone but I guess captivity can do funny things to your brain. I watched the second series later in the year too but that struggled to maintain the drama as it stretched the story beyond believable parameters.

4. Spiral (Series 2 - Gangs Of Paris) - I think Gangs Of Paris built successfully on the character foundations laid down in series one. Caroline Proust (as Captain Laure Berthaud) is the main draw still but seems less in control of events this time round, particularly in her personal life. The surrounding cast are more familiar now and that helped give the story more momentum. I particularly enjoyed Philippe Duclos' portrayal of Judge Roban and his knack with an off-hand put down.

5. Lilyhammer - Continuing my fixation with subtitled telly though with a more American slant. Steve Van Zandt, long time member of Bruce Springsteen's E-Street Band, plays a character not a million miles away from his role as Silvio in The Sopranos. Van Zandt contributed to the writing and also selected much of the music, a feat highlighted by the regular show ending appearance of a live band in his Flamingo club.

Top 5 UK TV Shows in 2012

1. Fresh Meat (Series 2) - The second series of Fresh Meat was a sharply scripted as the first. The cast is brilliant and seem to be able to push their characters in new directions. Zawe Ashton as Vod steals most of the best moments but I'm a big fan of Greg McHugh as the socially inept geology student Howard MacCallum too. I suspect this is really aimed at a younger audience (it could be a Young Ones for the modern age) but is one of the few things on TV that makes me laugh quite so heartily.

2. Twenty Twelve (Series 2) - Perfectly timed to coincide with the final few weeks before the Olympics and, I suspect, frighteningly close to what was happening in real life.
3. Episodes (Series 2) - Picking up four months after the end of the first series with Sean and Beverly trying to find a way to continue working together after Beverly's fling with Matt LeBlanc.
4. Line Of Duty - Not quite as gripping as last year's The Shadow Line but this was still BBC drama at it's best. Lennie James is brilliant as DCI Tony Gates who is under investigation by the anti-corruption unit.
5. Getting On (Series 4) - A forth season of Jo Brand's brilliantly observed and poignant hospital sitcom.


Top 5 Documentaries in 2012

1. Storyville: From the Sea to the Land Beyond - Ostensibly just archive footage of the British coast set to a soundtrack by British Sea Power. I'm a big BSP fan obviously but there was something about the way the footage was spliced together that made the programme a transfixing watch. Check out the landbeyond website here or look for the show on Amazon or the BBC iPlayer.

2. Punk Britannia - Three part documentary about the growth of Punk with some brilliant footage from the time and some contemporary interviews with many of punk's leading protagonists.
3. Jon Richardson: A Little Bit OCD - Following on from his book, It's Not Me, It's You!, Jon Richardson explored the truth behind OCD and how crippling it is for those people who suffer. It was lighthearted and revealing but put paid to me ever "humorously" referring to myself as a little bit OCD again.
4. Rich Hall - Inventing The Indian - Comedian Rich Hall goes in search of the real American Indian with the help of his friend, Native American, Dallas Goldtooth. Rich is fairly scathing in his assessment of how they have been portrayed by Hollywood but manages to be very funny at the same time.
5. Horror Europa with Mark Gattis - Follow up to his three part series about British Horror this was a more compact assessment of European horror from a castle in Slovakia where FW Murnau shot Nosferatu in 1922, to the hotel in Ostend where Harry Kümel filmed his erotic vampire classic, Daughters Of Darkness in 1971.

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Top 5 TV Theme Tunes sung by Dennis Waterman

I got into a discussion on Twitter several weeks ago about Dennis Waterman sung theme tunes. Waterman's propensity to sing the theme tunes of shows he was in was one of the better regular sketches on Little Britain. I still have to suppress the urge not to chuckle every time I see the opening titles of New Tricks (one of the few programmes that Mrs Top Five and I both enjoy - a worrying sign that maybe we're getting on a bit now).

Anyway, I began to wonder if Dennis had recorded more that five theme tunes. If he had that would be far too good an opportunity to miss I felt. Well, it turns out ... he did four. This is disappointing for someone looking to base a top five on the subject. However, I didn't get to publish a top five a week every Friday without having one or two tricks* up my sleeve so without further ado ...

* This is another way of saying I cheat occasionally.

Thanks to www.Minder.org for some of the details.

1. Minder – Classic 80s comedy about the dodgy dealings of Arthur Daley and his put upon bodyguard for hire. Minder ran from 1979 until 1994 (though Waterman left in 1989). This has to be Dennis' magnum opus. Clearly it was a formula television producers were keen to reuse.

2. New Tricks – Ridiculously catchy theme to the BBC comedy drama about an eccentric group of ex-policemen brought together to solve unsolved crimes. Currently up to 8 series and still going strong.

3. Stay Lucky – Comedy drama about a small-time gangster Thomas Gynn on the run from London who discovers a new life up North in Yorkshire. Meeting widowed, self sufficient businesswoman Sally Hardcastle after her car breaks down on the motorway. Amazingly this ran for 4 series.

The embedded video takes some two and a half minutes to get to the theme tune so if you'd rather cut to the chase this link should start you at the beginning.

4. On The Up – Short lived sitcom in which Waterman plays Tony Carpenter, a self-made millionaire who turned his South London minicab firm into a successful chauffeur-driven car service. It also featured Sam Kelly as Tony's long-term friend and personal chauffeur and Joan Sims as his cook Mrs Wembley.

I couldn't find a video of this one so here's that Little Britain sketch instead;

5. What We Gonna Get 'er Indoors – In 1983, Dennis Waterman & George Cole capitalised on Minder's success with a Christmas single. Both sides were sung in the characters of Terry McCann and Arthur Daley. Not really a theme tune then but surely worth including to ensure I didn't have to consign this topic to the list of abandoned Top Fives that lurks in the darkest corners of my shed.

Minder.org explains that the record reached number 21, and spent a total of 5 weeks on the UK pop chart. They also provide this link to an mp3 of the a-side (I'm sure you'll want your own copy).

Here's a link to What We Gonna Get 'er Indoors on YouTube and the video below is the b-side "Quids & Quavers".

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Top 5 TV Shows I saw in 2011

I’ve not done this as an annual topic before which, considering I am a bit of a telly addict, is quite surprising. Then again I don’t spend a lot of time watching TV that I actively want to see. Cartoon Network & Disney XD dominate the daylight hours and when we’re trying to find some family viewing we seem to always end up watching something like Come Dine With Me, Four In A Bed or (if I’m REALLY unlucky) Coach Trip. So, maybe it’s down to the lack of time I get to watch what I like but I’m always surprised when people say there’s nothing on telly because I think there’s loads and, thanks to modern technology, you can pretty much watch it whenever you want.

1. The Killing – Not actually a 2011 programme, but last year was the first time I’d seen this Danish thriller mixing political intrigue with police procedure. I was hooked by the characters from the off and the effort of reading subtitles soon paled into insignificance as I got caught up with the plot. By the end of the series I even began to believe I could understand Danish (to the point where I’d be Ironing, and forget to keep looking at screen. It could take several minutes before I realised I didn’t know what was going on). The second series was on just before Christmas and I'm looking forward to working my way through that as well. The success of The Killing seems to have opened the door for a number of other foreign language shows, Spiral & Borgen in particular, that are just as fascinating.

2. The Shadow Line – This had me gripped for 7 weeks. A sophisticated conspiracy thriller that reminded me of the sort of show the BBC made in the seventies, though filmed with a cinematic style that suggested a larger budget. Featuring a fabulous cast of British actors who portrayed a mixture of characters blurring the lines between good and evil. As I struggled to work out if I was supposed to be routing for the cops or the gangsters the plot took twist after unexpected twist. This was breathtaking drama that had me on the edge of my seat from start to finish. The final episode was slightly disappointing, trying to clear up too many loose ends in too short a space of time, but still left me desperate for more. That seems unlikely given that most of them ended up dead.

3. Fresh Meat – This didn’t start with the best of premises. Written by the creators of Peep Show & with a star from The Inbetweeners my hype radar was expecting the worst. Add the fact it also featured Jack Whitehall, a stand up comedian I really hadn't taken too, in a major role and it had expensive turkey written all over it. I gave it a go though and was pleasantly surprised by the first episode. By the time the first series ended I was completely won over and my opinion of Jake Whitehall has been dramatically changed. It was unusually long for a British sitcom but I found it properly funny with no sense of lag or loss of interest. I think it's been picked up for a second series which is great news.

4. Rev – A second series of the BBC sitcom that see's Tom Hollander play the Rev. Adam Smallbone, a vicar struggling to run a modern inner-city church in a parish where he’s largely derided or ignored. I'd not seen the first series, it really hadn't appealed at all, but caught the first episode of this series and found it a truly wonderful comedy. As with most of the other entries in this list, one of it's key strengths was the cast of characters. Olivia Colman is superb as Adam's put upon wife, Simon McBurney deliciously devious as Archdeacon Robert and Steve Evets fantastic as down and out Colin. It's Tom Hollander's show though and he pulls the whole thing together. I need to get a copy of the first series, it's classic british sitcom at it's very best.

5. This Is England '88 – The second TV spin off from Shane Meadows excellent 2006 film "This Is England". Following on from the devastating finale of "This Is England '86" '88 is a more down beat affair. Vicky McClure puts in another stunning performance as Lol, even though she has to spend most of the time looking miserable and shouting at people. Meadows originally intended it as a film but I think it works just as well in three parts.

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Top 5 British Wrestlers of the '70s and '80s

I didn't have enough time to sort out a proper top five this week but having been inspired by, former Autuers and Black Box Recorder main man, Luke Haines' new album "9 1/2 Psychedelic Meditations On British Wrestling Of The 1970s And Early '80s" I give you this mini-top five.

Back in the days of three channels, on a wet Saturday afternoon with a choice between this, Rugby League or a black & white Doris Day film, I think everyone my age watched the wrestling on "World of Sport".

1. Big Daddy

2. Kendo Nagasaki

3. Giant Haystacks

4. "Gentleman" Chris Adams

5. Young David/Davey Boy Smith

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Guest Top 5 - Simpsons episodes by Richard Howe

Time has rather gotten the better of me of late. My top five barrel is empty and I have not found the time to do justice to any of the subjects I have in the pipeline. Hooray then for the power of Twitter where I made a slightly desperate plea for assistance and recieved this brilliant top 5 from my former colleague and fellow maker of lists Richard.

Rich is a Cartographer, a Leeds United fan, a Yorkshire & England Cricket fan, a fully paid up member of the Centre-Back's Union and a lover of Indie-pop music. He tweets about most of these things @LUFCSupporter.

Over to Richard ...

There are so many classic Simpsons episode that getting it down to five was a tough ask. Honourable mentions go to “The Dead Putting Society” (where Bart and Todd Flanders play off at mini-golf whilst their fathers bet on the outcome) and Lord of the Flies parody “Das Bus” (where the schoolchildren become stranded on an island after Otto crashes the bus). However, what remains are episodes I can watch again and again, and for the most part I can recite verbatim!

1. Maximum Homer-drive

This is my personal favourite ever episode of the Simpsons as there’s an almost perfect plot and sub-plot. It’s not that often I find someone else that agrees with my first choice though.

Homer is challenged to a meat eating contest at the slaughter-house. His opponent, Red Barclay, beats him, but dies from beef poisoning in the process. On discovering he was a long distance lorry driver, Homer volunteers to drive his shipment across the country, with Bart as company. Homer and Bart stumble across the “Navitron Autodrive System” which drives the truck when Homer falls asleep at the wheel and a confrontation with the trucking fraternity ensues. Lisa and Marge meanwhile go in search of a new doorbell and are rescued from its subsequent malfunction by Senõr Ding-Dong.

Best quote: ‘He called me, "greenhorn." I called him, "Tony Randall." It was a thing we had.’

2. Homer at the Bat

The mass of guest stars in this episode combined with Homer’s sense of injustice at everything make it an absolute gem. The song over the final credits is the icing on the cake.

The power plant enters a softball team in a company league. The team turns a corner from the previous season when Homer, complete with “Wonder-Bat” (made from the branch of a lightening-struck tree) begins smashing them to victory. Mr Burns, sensing a victory in the championship game, makes a bet with the owner of the Shelbyville power plant and brings in pro-Baseball players as ringers to ensure he doesn’t lose. The night before the big game all of his ringers (bar one) are struck down by a variety of misfortunes. However, the team go on to victory care-of Homer’s head when he replaces Daryl Strawberry as a pinch hitter in the final innings.

Best quote: ‘Mattingly, I thought I told you to trim those sideburns? Go home; you're off the team, for good!’

3. Last Exit to Springfield

I’ve often seen this described as the best ever episode, and although it’s not my favourite it is certainly up there. Homer, the unwitting union man with a victory over the tyrant Burns

Following the mysterious disappearance of the previous Union leader, Mr Burns proposes a free keg of beer for the union in lieu of the plant’s dental plan in a effort to cut costs. Homer is (eventually) against the idea when he remembers that Lisa needs braces. He is elected union president after passionate defence of the dental plan. Over a series of meetings with Mr Burns, Homer’s frequent misunderstandings over what’s taking place lead Mr Burns to conclude he’s a tough negotiator. The power plant goes on striker and Mr Burns eventually cedes to their demands on condition that Homer resigns as president of the union.

Best quote: ‘Smithers, I'm beginning to think that Homer Simpson is not the brilliant tactician I thought he was.’

4. Lisa the Vegetarian

Homer’s outrage at Lisa’s vegetarianism and her struggle to find acceptance bring hilarious consequences. The chant of “You don’t make friends with Salad!” contained in this episode has become commonplace amongst my family.

Following a visit to a petting zoo, Lisa decides she no longer wants to eat meat. Homer is naturally unimpressed and is in the process of arranging a barbeque with a roast suckling pig. Lisa steals the “Pig de-resistance” and pushes it down a hill where it falls into the river, gets stuck in the dam and is shot into the distance. Following an argument with Homer Lisa runs to the Kwik-e-Mart and gorges herself on what she thinks is a hot-dog. Apu advises her that it is a Tofu-dog and informs her that he is also a vegetarian and invites her to his roof garden to meet Paul and Linda McCartney.

Best quote: ‘It's just a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good!’

5. Kamp Krusty

Another classic plot and sub-plot episode. The scene where Kent Brockman reveals he’s got exclusive access to the leader of the rebellion, and Homer’s (unanswered) prayers “don’t be the boy, don’t be the boy” still have me rolling about on the floor with laughter.

Bart fakes his end of year grades to ensure he can go away to Kamp Krusty over the summer. Homer easily sees through his cheating but allows Bart to go away with Lisa anyway. When Bart and Lisa arrive they discover that the Kamp is franchised by an absent Krusty and is more in keeping with a concentration camp, complete with death marches. Unaware of Bart and Lisa’s plight, Homer and Marge are enjoying a summer alone with Homer re-growing his hair and losing weight. Bart leads a rebellion against the camp which becomes televised news causing Homer to immediately lose his hair and gain his weight. Krusty takes the children to Tijuana for the rest of the summer by way of apology.

Best quote:
Marge: ‘Homer, you do remember your promise to the children?’
Homer: ‘Sure do! When you’re 18, you’re out the door!’

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