The Washington Post runs a neologism contest in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. I had an email the other day which listed some of the best, they've probably been around for a while but they made me laugh.
1. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
4. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
5. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.