Top 5 Works by Martin Creed

One thing leads to another. I was listening to Marc Riley on 6Music when he had a session with Martin Creed. His music is low-fi punk but displays the same sense of humour you can see in his art. The single Thinking/Not Thinking is a two chord stomp about how life falls into those two categories of activity. Another song A-Z sees Martin recite the alphabet from A to Z. I like the simplicity of his lyrics.

Creed is most well known for Work no. 227 "The Lights going on and off" which won him the controversial Turner Prize in 2001. As with most modern artists it raises the argument about what is and what is not art. Personally I don't really care. From my point of view it's visually interesting and that is all that matters.

1. Half The Air In A Given Space (2004)

This is a variation of an installation he did a number of times before with different coloured ballons. I like the fact that the balloons are all the same colour.

I reckon this is an even better picture from outside the gallery. A room full of balloons - what's not to like?

This is work 628 from 2007. It's called dark-blue balloons and is another variation on the same theme.

2. Small Things (2006)

Another recurring idea. The top picture is from 2006 and is in blue neon.

Work 755. A version from 2007 in yellow neon.

3. Nails (2007)

Work 701 is quite a delicate piece. I like the way the shadows from the lighting cast geometric patterns.

4. Balls (2004)

Work 370 appeals to me as much for its similarity to our front room when the boys are having a messy day as its aesthetic value.

5. Everything Is Going To Be Alright (2007)

More neon. Nice juxtaposition against the grafitti.

Earlier version on a landmark building in 2006.

I've broken all my rules this week with multiple choices under one entry so one more won't hurt. This is work 925 Chairs.

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Top 5 Pixies Albums

This one has been a work in progress for ages. The Pixies are my favourite band and only released five albums (one was an EP but I reckon it counts). Turned out this wasn't the quick and easy topic I thought it was going to be. It's funny how hard it is to write about the things you really love.

1. Surfer Rosa (1988) - The Pixies full length debut. Produced by hardcore legend Steve Albini with his typical sparse but energetic sound. Kicking of with the trademark Albini drum sound on Bone Machine it clatters through three more tracks before the pace lets up a little with the Kim Deal sung Gigantic and best known song Where Is My Mind?. Thirteen tracks in a little over half an hour and not a dud song amongst them.

Favourite track: Gigantic

2. Doolittle (1989) - Their biggest selling album and a very close second. This has glossier production sheen partly a by-product of signing with Elektra in the US. Despite this Black Francis' writing is as sharply observed as ever. This is the band at their peak, retaining the energy from Surfer Rosa but adding greater depth to their sound.

Favourite track: Debaser

3. Come on Pilgrim (1987) - Not a full album but this twenty minute E.P. pretty much defined their sound. Despite being effectively taken from the cheaply produced "Purple Tape" demo Come On Pilgrim has warmer sounding production than Surfer Rosa.

Favourite track: The Holiday Song

4. Bossanova (1990) - Following the success of Doolittle was always going to make this a difficult album. Whilst they might not achieve the peaks of previous releases there is a consistency of sound that maybe makes this more accessible to new listeners. I saw them at Reading soon after this was released and have great memories of seeing these songs performed live.

Favourite track: Havalina

5. Trompe Le Monde (1991) - The final release and first signs that the band were no longer all pulling in the same direction. This is a forerunner of Frank's impending solo work and there is a distinct lack of Kim Deal influence. Despite this there are some gems to be found. The plinky plonk keyboard refrain of Alec Eiffel, the trademark sreaming vocal on U-Mass and the reworking of "Purple Tape" original Subbacultcha. Fool the world? Probably not.

Favourite track: U-Mass

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Guest Top Five - Raymond Chandler novels by Richard Allen

The second guest top five comes from Richard Allen, writer of Craven Cottage Newsround, the best Fulham blog on the internet, and editor of the annual Fulham Review. CCN started about 6 days before my own Fulham blog, and it was Richard who encouraged me to keep on writing. That means it's partly his fault you have to read my weekly ramblings! Over to Rich ...

Were I ever to find myself on MasterMind this might well be my specialist subject, although in writing this I've realised just how much I've forgotten, and most of my memories are fuzzy notions of excellence rather than anything specific I can write about; I'll just have to read them again, won't I?

The appeal here is several-fold: I love private eye novels (I would like to be one); I love novels set in California (Ross McDonald's Lew Archer books have the same X factor - an openness, and excitement, a dark shadow underneath a glittering surface); I love Chandler's writing, which would be diabolical were he not so brilliant (which is why attempts to copy it just don't work); but most of all I love Philip Marlowe, the tired, beaten-down protagonist in all this. I can't describe Marlowe any more than I can describe the books he's in, but suffice it to say I would very much like to be him.

1. The Lady in the Lake

Hard to say why I like this so much. It showcases Marlowe at his best, and seems to be the Chandler book that *works* better than any of the others (the Big Sleep, good as it is, is over plotted and doesn't really fit together, for instance; the Lady in the Lake has no such concerns). Crooked doctors, crooked cops, and some excellent secondary characters along the way. A winner.

"Police business is a hell of a problem. It’s a good deal like politics. It asks for the highest type of men, and there’s nothing in it to attract the highest type of men. So we have to work with what we get."
— Raymond Chandler (The Lady in the Lake)

2. Playback

This is supposedly one of the weaker efforts, cobbled together later in Chandler's life from a movie script that hadn't worked out. The plot doesn't really go anywhere, but for whatever reason I really enjoy this (short) book. I've read it a couple of times now, too. Compared to, say, The Big Sleep, the plot is almost non-existent, but by now Marlowe is almost unbearably human. It's a very lively book, but there's a weariness between the lines. Lots of travelling and hotels here, which also adds to things (a sense of transience or what have you).

"Common sense is the guy who tells you that you ought to have had your brakes relined last week before you smashed a front end this week. Common sense is the Monday morning quarterback who could have won the ball game if he had been on the team. But he never is. He's high up in the stands with a flask on his hip. Common sense is the little man in a grey suit who never makes a mistake in addition. But it's always someone else's money he's adding up."
— Raymond Chandler (Playback)

3. The Big Sleep

The first of the series and made up of several short stories Chandler had written for the pulp magazines. This is a good thing in that a lot of his best lines get in here - it's alive with astonishing turns of phrase - but a bad thing because the plot doesn't really work and has almost too much going on. Chandler's most famous book, and keeps getting into "top x books" lists, but it almost feels too high at #3. It's here because of the aforementioned turns of phrase: absolutely electric stuff.

"Tall, aren't you?" she said.
I didn't mean to be. Her eyes rounded. She was puzzled. She was thinking. I could see, even on that short acquaintance, that thinking was always going to be a bother to her."
— Raymond Chandler (The Big Sleep)

4. Farewell My Lovely

I haven't read this for a while but my initial instinct had been to place it at #2. Marlowe has to work with (or for) the troublesome Moose Molloy, and finds himself in several sticky situations, drugged on an offshore gambling den, knocked out at a late night rendez-vous, and much else besides. Side note: several episodes in the book are supposedly examples of Marlowe's repressed homosexuality, which is an interesting angle for Marlowephiles to consider.

"It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window."
— Raymond Chandler (Farewell, My Lovely)

5. The Long Goodbye

See, when I read this I thought "this is my favourite Chandler" but that was probably 2004 and I've forgotten most of it (I've re-read most of the other books since, but like a number of good things, don't necessarily want to go back to this for fear of something hard to explain). So it's at number 5 because it needs to be in here. Chandler's longest, saddest and most reflective book; I'd better read it again.

"I was as hollow and empty as the spaces between stars."
— Raymond Chandler (The Long Goodbye)

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Top 5 Songs about Trains

My Sunday mornings have tended of late to take a pleasant yet predictable routine. Mrs Top5 gets up horribly early and heads out for a lengthy training session in preperation for the 26.2 mile MoonWalk in May. I eventually rouse myself and endeavour to get myself and the boys fed, showered and dressed before her return. Mrs Top5 has a brief stop to top up on fluids before taking the boys rowing leaving me to cook the roast and listen to Cerys Matthews on BBC 6music.

Cerys' show is a fabulous mix of music, poetry, recipes and chat. The perfect soundtrack to an easy Sunday morning. Last week the theme was trains and vibrophones. I didn't do too well on the vibrophone front but there are a lot of songs about trains. Inevitably I spent the week putting together a top five.

Here's a Spotify playlist with my full list of contenders

1. Locomotive Breath Jethro Tull - Tull at their early seventies peak. Locomotive Breath is ostensibly about someone mentally falling apart and the song features a driving rythm and Ian Anderson's trademark "breathy" flute to create the impression of a train wreck in progress.

2. Train from Kansas City The Shangri-Las - Sixties "bad-girl" pop group from Queen's in New Yawk most famous for The Leader Of The Pack. This is a less well known b-side that I first heard performed by Neko Case live at the Wedgewood Rooms last year.

3. Downtown Train Tom Waits - Trying hard to think of a better way of describing Tom Waits other than "gravel voiced". Failing. You may recognise the lyrics more than the tune due to it being a fairly massive hit for Rod Stewart. A number of other artists have also done versions but this is the gravel voiced original.

4. Late for the Train Buzzcocks - Closing track from the band's second album demonstrates the power of a good instrumental. It brilliantly conjures a vision of the dash to catch the last train. Not sure if this is an age thing but I'm finding I enjoy lyric-free music more and more. The next step may well be a subscription to Gramophone magazine and an emerging interest in the classics.

5. Slow Train Status Quo - It's rare I give in to my undying love of The Quo and let them feature in a top five. This may well be my favourite Quo song of all time. Certainly it would be a strong contender for my Desert Island Disks managing, as it does, to cram everything I love about Quo into one song. The trademark three chord riff, some grungy telecaster bursts from Parfitt, a twiddly bit from Rossi about half way through and a pogo-perfect time signature (with a couple of slow bits to get your breath back).

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Top 5 Movie Soundtracks that are also great Albums

... and from movie posters my mind inevitably wandered onto movie soundtracks. This top five came together quite quickly but I was slightly surprised to find it didn't include any John Barry, Ennio Morricone or Lalo Schaflin. That got me thinking about what I liked about these collections and I figured, for the most part, these are great song collections that work as albums on their own merit. However much I enjoy Barry, Morricone & Schaflin, I can't say I'd play a complete film score very often. Hence the title.

1. The Blues Brothers - Storming collection of blues and soul that ignited my interest in the era it originated from. The band, formed by some of the best session musicians from the glory days of Stax and MoTown, rip through these classic standards. Ackroyd & Belushi may not have the voices as good as the artists that recorded the originals but they're clearly having a lot of fun.

2. Pulp Fiction - A typically eclectic selection of tracks, compiled by my favourite director. Veering from the surf rock of Dick Dale's "Miserlou" to the perfect pop of Dusty Springfield's "Son of a Preacher Man" and interspersed with some brilliant Tarantino dialogue. Quentin can certainly pick a tune.

3. Paris, Texas - Slightly disproving my comment about "film scores" Ry Cooder's subtle and downbeat soundtrack to Wim Wender's movie of the same name is never the less a stunning piece of music. It's ingrained into the very fabric of the film to the extent that I cannot picture a scene from the film without hearing a haunting melody from the soundtrack.

4. Footloose - Hmm. How to explain this to people that know my taste in music. I think both the film and soundtrack capture a moment in time that I remember very fondly. This would have been around the time I was taking my O-Levels. My tastes in music were expanding in all sorts of directions and the best known tracks were played on radio a lot while I was failing to revise. Still enjoy the way these songs can take me back in time. Let's hear it for the boy-oy-oy!

5. American Werewolf in London - Another fiddle if I'm honest. I haven't got this album and have struggled to even confirm what was on the original release. Elmer Bernstein composed an original score but it was the use of various moon referencing pop hits that makes it work. At least three versions of "Blue Moon", Van Morrison's "Moondance", Cat Steven's "Moonshadow" and best of all Creedance Clearwater Revival's "Bad Moon Rising". Would have been even better had they decided to include Warren Zevon's excellent "Werewolves of London".

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Top 5 Movie Posters

Felt I'd been banging on about music quite a bit this year and it was time for a change of topic. I started off trying to piece together my top five movie trilogies but gave up having found that there are very few examples with three consistently good films. In fact are there any? Ideas on a postcard please. However, that set me off on an alternative tack into the wonderful art of movie posters.

1. Star Wars - This might not be technically the best in my top five but for what it meant to me as a nine year old it has to be number one. Like the cover to a cheap fifties sci-fi novel it suggests so much in one picture, summing up all that was brilliant about the film in one image. The hero looks nothing like Mark Hammil, the heroine, with due respect to Carrie Fisher, looks sexier than the reality. The Death Star hangs in the sky ominously with X-Wing fighters streaming towards it. Above all though is the face of Darth Vader. A visual that clearly shows a villian like none that had gone before. Star Wars had a huge impact on me marking the point between be taken to the cinema to see Walt Disney cartoons, and becoming aware of what was on and what I wanted to see. Christmas that year I got a duvet and pillow case set with the same picture on it. Classic.

2. Vertigo - Stylish design that defines the crime film image. The font, the spirograph graphics, the man & woman fighting or dancing. They give very little away yet still manage to convey the nature of the film perfectly. A template for crime mystery movies ever since.

3. Pulp Fiction - Another 50s inspiration. Uma Thurman oozes mystery and sex appeal whilst the creases and pulp crime novel design elements tell you all you need to know about the movie.

4. Metropolis - Stunning image for this landmark 1927 film.

5. Rosemary's Baby - Sparse and slightly disturbing picture that again perfectly captures the feel of the film.

If you enjoy this sort of thing check out this impressive list of the 100 greatest movie posters.

Top 5 White Stripes songs

Hot on the heals of John Barry's passing was the news that The White Stripes had decided to officially split up. Not quite such earth shattering news but The White Stripes meant quite a lot to me for a few years. The announcement seemed a bit of an odd thing to do. They hadn't put an album out for four years (hadn't put a good album out for even longer), they haven't fallen out (there's only two in the band) and Jack's already involved in all sorts of other projects. Either way it seemed like an opportunity for me to revisit the bands back catalogue and remind myself why I loved them in the first place.

1. Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground (from White Blood Cells)



2. Fell In Love With A Girl (from White Blood Cells)



3. Seven Nation Army (from Elephant)



4. Hello Operator (from De Stijl)



5. You're Pretty Good Looking (For a Girl) (from De Stijl)



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Top 5 John Barry compositions

I was very sad to hear the news that John Barry had passed away. His music played a huge part in the films I enjoyed growing up, and so many of those themes bring back wonderful images of some of my favourite movies. Bond gave me my first taste of John Barry and I have already done a Bond Theme top five, but his collection of work is much greater than just soundtracking our favourite British Spy.

If you want to pick up a complete collection of his very best work I can highly recommend Themeology. That is an album I've played an awful lot and at £3.99 is a bit of a bargain. If you've got more cash to spare then try Thempendium which is a fairly exhaustive four CD box set.

It's really tough to put the five tracks I've selected into order and I really think any one of these could be in top position and I'd still be happy. Have to stick to my own rules though so this is what I think right now.

1. Theme from The Persuaders - Spine tingling intro to the seventies crime series starring Roger Moore and Tony Curtis.



2. The James Bond Theme - A monster of a tune that whatever Barry's role in its creation (Officially a Monty Norman composition arranged by JB) defined the sound of nearly all the Bond music that followed.



3. Midnight Cowboy - Haunting harmonica driven tune that provides the melancholy backing to the latter part of the film.



4. Main Title Theme from The Ipcress File - Intertwines perfectly with the sounds of Harry Palmer in the kitchen as he makes coffe and gets ready for the day.



5. We Have All The Time In The World - One of my all time favourite songs.



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Guest Top 5: Dan Whaley's Top 5 Dutch Artists

One of my New Year resolutions was to spend less time on the PC. That means getting a weekly top five out is going to be a little harder. So, as a way to fill in the gaps and also freshen up the blog a bit I thought I'd invite a few friends (and top five followers) to contribute the occasional guest top five. There's an open invite in fact. If you read the blog and fancy sharing your own top five (the more obscure the better) drop me a line and let me know. Also if you have you own opinion about any of the top fives I've published feel free to share this with me via the comments.

The inaugral guest top five is a suitably provided by the person who is largely responsible for me "coming out" as a listaholic. Dan Whaley was one of the founding members of the Charles Napiers (my favourite Mondo Wray instrumental band) and currently plays guitar, bass or ukelele in at least six different bands. As co-ordinator of the PRS focus group he gave me my first break in competitive top fiving. Here's Dan's list of favourite Dutch artists.

1) Piet Mondriaan

It was the Mondriaan-styled drumkit and shirt Alec Palao bashed and sported in The Sting Rays that first introduced me to this fantastic artist. His series of black line/primary colour square paintings from the 1920s are so incredibly visually powerful (and years ahead of their time). When I lived in Amsterdam, there was a Mondriaan-styled houseboat moored round the corner from my flat - Really, who wouldn't want to live in this?

2) M.C. Escher

As a child I used to spend most of December recreating this Escher self portrait with a bauble.

3) Theo van Doesburg

Not a million miles from Mondriaan...

4) Hieronymus Bosch

"You can take them flowers and shove 'em up your arse"

5) Herman Brood

Not that I knew it at the time, but apparently the night before Brood committed suicide he was sitting next to me and my mate Pete in a bar in Amsterdam. Could our inane conversation have been the last straw that led to him jumping off the roof of the Hilton? I do sincerely hope not.

Top 5 Events of 2010

One final post to wrap up my review of 2010. Another year bites the dust and I feel I didn't quite manage to do all that I ought to. One of those things was writing a meaningful message in our Christmas Cards to those friends and family we don't see very often. Mrs Chopper is always very efficient with the card writing and this year (partly due to being off with a poorly child) had them done before the close of November. I was left with the few cards she felt I needed to write but faced with a blank card and the pressure of a large pile of seasonal stamps resorted, as usual, to the standard platitudes. I considered doing a late family newsletter but as the weeks went by that seemed a bit irrelevant too. Best stick to what I do best then a write a Top five instead. If you know me and I haven't seen you for a while this is what we've been up to. I hope all is well with your family too!

1. Fulham in Hamburg (May) - The early part of the year was undoubtedly dominated by European football. Fulham don't have a great history of this sort of thing so I was determined to make the most of our moment. I'd been to Rome in November 2009 and was happy to see my team play in a major European stadium (even if we did lose). I wasn't expecting another opportunity but a remarkable run of results (beating defacto cup holders Shaktar Donetsk, Italian giants Juventus, German champs Wolfsberg and host side Hamburg) saw us reach the final. This was the biggest game the club have played since the '75 F.A. Cup Final and I am lucky enough to have a very understanding wife. My friend Mark and I arrived in Hamburg around 8:00, had a good morning doing the tourist thing, then an even better afternoon getting drunk with Fulham fans in Hans Albertz Plaz (a small square just off the Reeperbahn). The game was a blur, we played valiantly but lost 2-1 to Atletico Madrid. We flew home the same night, it was a long and slightly sad journey but with hindsight a brilliant day and the highpoint of my football supporting life.

2. Ben wins at the Sunbury Regatta (August) - My eldest son has been rowing since he was seven. He's quite tall for his age (something he clearly doesn't get from me) and really loves the sport. He's been entering the Sunbury Junior regatta every year since he started. The first year he won a trophy for being the youngest competitor. The second year he won the Sportsman's trophy for being enthusiastic and helping the organiser's out with getting the boats ready. Last year he didn't win anything and was a bit upset about it. They had an Olympic Rower present the prizes and she made a speech about how she had competed at the Regatta and been upset about not winning, so she worked really hard and trained a lot and came back the following year and won. Ben was very determined this year and although he lost out in the early rounds of the singles events he finally won his first Sunbury Pot claiming the trophy for the Junior Double Sculls with his partner Zak. Very proud Dad moment.

3. Holiday in Cornwall (June) - As a family we're definitely creatures of habit. We've been going down to Cornwall for our annual holiday for the best part of 10 years now. There are so many new places I'd love to see but timing and money tend to get in the way. Going to Cornwall is easy and we love it. This year was particularly good as the weather held out all week and we were able to spend most of it on the beach near Rock. Met up with our friends from Shepperton, so the boys had people to play with. Managed to cycle part of the Camel Trail from Wadebridge to Padstow (i.e the flat bit), so that we felt we'd done our active bit. I even fitted in a visit to the Sharp's Brewery to pick up some cheap Doombar. Perfect.

4. George at Beaver's camp (November) - George finally started Beaver's in September after what seemed like a very long wait. He isn't as active as Ben (definitely taking after me there) but was keen to go and has really enjoyed it ever since. In November they had their first overnight camp since he started and despite the fact he'd never stayed away from home before really wanted to go. Your kids never fail to surprise you in what they can do. He had a brilliant time and it was lovely to see him happy and mucking about with his friends when we collected him the next day.

5. Lahori Curry (Jan - April) - Work played a fairly big role in my year. I was involved in two fairly lengthy periods of system upgrading, learnt a lot as we did them and made some new friends. Works a bit boring to include in a top five though so the lasting legacy of all this effort was the discovery of the Lahori Karahi restaurant in Feltham. Absolutely the best curry I have eaten anywhere and a popular lunch time venue when we were working our hardest.

In other news we bought a car, survived the secondary school selection process, Jane started running and generally getting fit, I made a bit of a break through with my achilles injury, and we all had a couple of very pleasant days out at Leeds Castle and Whipsnade Zoo.