Top 5 Fictional Bears

Not quite sure where this topic came from other than an ongoing need to wallow in childhood nostalgia and a desire to talk about Paddington. Lots of bears that didn't make the cut, including Biffo from The Beano (who frankly scared me), Sooty from "The Sooty & Sweep Show" (who was never as cool as his co-star) and George the Hofmeister bear (who was unfortunate with his product choice). I also considered the Hair Bear Bunch (Hair Bear, Bubi Bear & Square Bear) but it didn't seem fair to include them as a group and I couldn't seperate them as individuals.

1. Paddington Bear - I first became familiar with Paddington through the BBC television series created by Ivor Wood and narrated by Michael Hordern. The five minute episodes were wonderfully animated, a stop motion Paddington puppet interacting with two dimensional backgrounds and characters. Later I read the Michael Bond books and enjoyed the stories all the more. It's possible that I identify more with Paddington than any other literary character. I have a "Paddington" stare that I reserve for those people that have unwittingly annoyed me. I like few things more than having a nice cup of tea and a piece of cake during a quiet afternoon at home. And, of course, I love marmalade. If I wore a big enough hat I would definitely keep a marmalade sandwich under it "in case of emergencies".

2. Whinnie-the-Pooh - Just to be clear, I'm talking the E.H. Shepard version here not the technicolour Disney version. A.A. Milne's two books about Pooh along with his children's poetry collections ("When We Were Very Young" and "Now We Are Six") were some of the very first books I remember being read. Pooh and his friends remain a source of great wisdom.

3. Iorek Byrnison - Iorek Byrnison is an armoured polar bear. I really don't think I need to say anything more. A character from Philip Pullman's brilliant His Dark Materials trilogy (which reads like Tolkien without the long boring bits). Having being rescued from enslavement, Iorek becomes lead character Lyra's friend and protector.

An armoured, polar, bear. Yup.

4. Fozzie Bear - My fifth favourite Muppet becomes my fourth favourite bear.

5. Yogi Bear - I can remember watching Yogi from quite an early age and the show is irrevocably linked with our first colour television. My parents had always hired televisions (and in fact, until very recently they still did) from Radio Rentals. Every 5 years or so we'd have the excitement of a trip to the shop to pick out the new set. Our very first colour TV was made by Baird, which I learnt were named after the inventor of the first working television, John Logie Baird. I naturally assumed that Yogi Bear was a clever word play in honour of the Scottish inventor. Baseball wasn't very popular in Surrey in the seventies.

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Top 5 Wacky Racers

Sticking with the Hanna-Barbera tack and another childhood favourite, the wonderful Wacky Races. Much like Top Cat I grew up watching this, and despite there being a mere 17 episodes made (34 races), still enjoy it today.

1. Dick Dastardly and Muttley (in car 00 the Mean Machine)

2. The Ant Hill Mob (in car 7 the Bulletproof Bomb)

3. Professor Pat Pending (in car 3 the Convert-a-Car)

4. The Gruesome Twosome (in car 2 the Creepy Coupe)

5. Penelope Pitstop (in car 5 the Compact Pussycat)

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Top 5 Top Cat characters

Top Cat was one of my favourite childhood cartoons. A mere 30 episodes were produced, between Sept '61 and April '62, yet it made a huge impression on me. Last December Arnold Stang, the American character actor who provided the voice of Top Cat, died at the ripe old age of 91. This is a tribute to Arnold's magic tones.

1. Benny The Ball

2. Top Cat

3. Officer Dibble

4. Brain

5. Choo-Choo

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Top 5 Storm Thorgerson Album Covers

Storm Thorgerson has a free exhibition of his artwork running at the Idea Generation Gallery (no, me neither) until 2nd May 2010. The BBC have this neat audio slideshow showing some of his work and it got me thinking about my favourite Thorgerson album covers. It's hard to ignore his work for Floyd so this week there's two top fives for the price of one. Well more like one and a half but it was impossible for me not to complete my top five Pink Floyd covers as well.

1. Pink Floyd "Animals" (1977) - Whilst "Atom Heart Mother" and "Dark Side of the Moon" are probably the most iconic covers Storm produced there's something special about this picture of Battersea Power Station. I think it was an image familiar to me due to trips to London on the train. The flying pig adds a sense of the surreal despite being quite small. The story that the inflatable they used broke free and caused air traffic chaos before eventually coming down in a Kent farm makes it all the better.

2. Peter Gabriel - "Peter Gabriel" (1977) - I love this photo of a Lancia Flavia, supposedly Storm's own. Really sharp picture that contrasts with the blurred vision of Peter Gabriel apparently slumped in the passenger seat. Taken in black and white and then hand coloured by Richard Manning. Manning, a freelance artist who was working for Hipgnosis, also hand scrapped the highlights for each raindrop with a scalpel. Dedication.

3. Pink Floyd "Wish You Were Here" (1975) - As with much of Thorgerson's best work it's simple but effective. The man on fire was actually on fire when the photo was taken. Wearing an aspestos suit and wig and covered in lighter fluid.

4. Muse "Absolution" (2003) - I really don't like Muse very much at all but this album cover was enough to make me stop and reconsider for a moment. In the end I concured that I was right, Muse remain crap but still, great cover.

5. The Cranberries "Wake Up and Smell The Coffee" (2001) - I've not even heard this album. By the time it came out The Cranberries were well off my radar. I love the cover though, it's reminiscent of an early Thorgersen cover ("Elegy" by The Nice) but I think it works better. I also like the fact that Storm appears to have considered the band's name and decided he'd just do a cover with a bunch of giant cranberries on it.

And then the rest of my favourite Pink Floyd covers.

3. Pink Floyd "Umma Gumma" (1969) - The album, bar a few moments of genius, is absolutely awful but I love the picture within a picture cover. A concept Storm used again for Floyd's "Echoes" best of set.

4. Pink Floyd "The Dark Side Of The Moon" (1973) - Familiarity probably breeds contempt. This must have been a spectacularly inovative idea when it was first released, but is so familiar to me now I probably don't give it the status it deserves. I can remember a teacher at junior school (I guess I'd have been about 10) showing us this and the cover to "Animals" as examples of great commercial art. I can't remember what we were then supposed to go and do, though oddly I think it had something to do with papier mache.

5. Pink Floyd "Saucerful of Secrets" (1968) - Quite different from the other covers. At first it seems a bit of a mess but the more you look at it the more you find. It's possibly the definition of a 60's psychedelic cover.

Not everything Storm produced was brilliant though. His work for The Scorpions made both my lists of bad album covers here and here.

Top 5 Songs of 2009

Bit short of spare time this week so I'll wrap up my review of last year with few words and a link so you can decide for yourselves. There's no video, just the songs.

1. Bill Callahan "Eid Ma Clack Shaw"



2. La Roux "Bulletproof"



3. Wilco "Bull Black Nova"



4. Idlewild "Readers & Writers"



5. Japandroids "Young Hearts Spark Free"

Top 5 Quotes from The Simpsons

This week was going to be my Top 5 movies of 2009 but there were some major contenders I hadn't got round to seeing yet (The Damned United, Watchmen and Inglorious Basterds to name just three) so I figured I'd leave that for another day. To tide you over here's a double dose of my favourite Simpson's quotes to celebrate 20 years of the little yellow critters.

Top 5 Homer Simpson Quotes

1. "Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems."

2. "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

3. "You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."

4. "Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?"

5. "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course, and I forgot how to drive?"

Top 5 quotes from other Simpsons characters

1. Lionel Hutz: "This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”"

2. Sideshow Bob: "Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?"

3. Ned Flanders: "I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!"

4. Comic Book Guy: "But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds… Oh, I’ve wasted my life."

5. Krusty the Clown: "And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold."

Top 5 Gigs of 2009

My lowest gig tally for some time, I think I only managed 8 or 9 all told. The quality remained high though so there were no shortage of contenders for the final five. All gigs were in that there London unless stated.

1. Dananananaykroyd (Hoxton Bar & Grill) - So, if I was being strictly accurate the 'Naykroyd would be at numbers 1 and 2. I saw them twice and they were head and shoulders above any band I've seen in the past ten years. Possibly ever. The Hoxton show edged out the Scala show by a gnat's whisker. It was the first headline show I'd seen them do and a cracking night for many other reasons. If you like your music at the spiky end of the scale do yourself a favour and see this band live.

2. Bill Callahan (Union Chapel) - First time I'd seen Bill live and first time I'd been to the Chapel. Bill was on brilliant form, playing songs mainly from his 2009 album (2nd in my albums of 2009) as well as a nice mixture of old favourites. The Union Chapel is a proper working church, which means it's first come first served for the best spot on the pews. I'm at an age where I can enjoy a venue that provides cups of tea in a proper mug and has little tubs of ice cream on sale.

3. Neko Case (Wedgewood Rooms, Portsmouth) - Likewise, this was my first live experience of Neko Case. Alternative country if you don't already know. Neko has a stunning voice which was all the more impressive in the cosy environment of the Wedgewood. It seemed a little like this was a warm up for the following nights show at the Barbican but the relaxed atmosphere only aided my enjoyment. A cracking mix of new songs from "Middle Cyclone" and the best of her back catalogue.

4. Pixies (Brixton Academy) - Playing the whole of "Doolittle" in order plus a selection of b-sides from the same era and some old classics. Fantastic show which I slightly regret being too drunk to fully appreciate. Thankfully they're selling live CD's of the tour so I still have the chance to listen to the show more attentively. Despite my state of sobriety I had a fab time and thoroughly enjoyed the night.

5. Stiff Little Fingers (The Forum) - I haven't seen the SLF for a very long time so having heard they were touring again was keen to check them out. This was the night after the eventful evening in Hoxton (see above), so I was a little jaded and not particularly expecting to enjoy it. However, Jake Burns and the boys blew me away. They played a cracking set of greatest hits that sounded as good as I have ever heard them before.

Top 5 Books I read in 2009

I read more books in 2009 than any other year on record (which pretty much means since circa 1989). A grand total of 30 if you include the Wolverine graphic novel. What's more the books I read were generally really good. I've been focusing on reading classics or highly recommended literature and it's paying dividends.

1. "The Old Man & The Sea" Ernest Hemingway - My first Hemingway and a brilliant starter. I've recently rediscovered the joys of the library and thought I'd give this a go as I knew I could read it quickly. It's a subtle and straightforward story about an old fisher man who goes out in search of that one big catch. No doubt there are lots of metaphors and hidden messages that I haven't fully appreciated but it works on every level. Brilliant writing and a great story.

2. "The Man In The High Castle" Philip K. Dick - I picked this up from, of all places, our Doctors waiting room. They've a small table with second hand books for whatever you feel they're worth. Normally it's just you're regular Airport blockbusters but I always have a quick peek. I'm a pretty big fan of PKD and have read quite a few of his best known books but this hadn't entered my radar. The cover looked interesting (I generally find that judging books by their covers works remarkably well) so I thought it was worth a punt at 50p. And so it turned out. A brilliant story about what might have been had the Nazi's won the second world war, one of the best PKD books I've read.

3. "Treasure Island" Robert Louis Stevenson - The second RLS book to make my top five in two years. This is full of every pirate cliche you'll have ever heard but that's mainly because this is the source of the cliches. It's a proper boys own adventure that still hits the spot some 130 years on.

4. "Fight Club" Chuck Palahniuk - I've read two Palahniuk books this year. "Diary" was my first having picked up a copy from someone at work. Having enjoyed that I thought I ought to try the book that brought him to my attention in the first place and wasn't disappointed. If I hadn't seen the film, and therefore, known the twist at the end I think this would have claimed the number one spot. It's excellent writing none the less and may still turn out to be one of my all time favourite books.

5. "Rendezvous with Rama" Arthur C. Clarke - I've not read any A.C. Clarke for a very long time and only picked this up because a mate at work was selling off some old books for charity. It's old fashioned Science Fiction but is as good an example of the genre as you're likely to find. The story sucks you in and won't let you go until you've reached the end. Proof that for all ACC's scientific foresight he still knew how to write a ripping yarn.

Top 5 Albums of 2009

A Happy New Year to you all. Think I've just about got over the Christmas eating extravaganza and managed to reset my body clock so that I'm again capable of functioning before 11am. Time for my review of 2009, which should run over the next four or five weeks, first stop Albums. Had planned to have all five done by now but this is the only one ready so it might drag on longer than I intended - great start.

1. Dananananaykroyd "Hey Everyone!" - Debut album from Scottish fight-popsters which amazingly lived up to their live performances. Always tricky for a great live band to reproduce their style on record but the 'Naykroyd succeeded.

2. Bill Callahan "Sometimes I Wish We Were An Eagle" - The artist formerly known as Smog has not changed dramatically since he started going by his given name. Callahan writes wonderfully subtle yet cutting lyrics and he seems to be getting better with age.

3. The Decemberists "The Hazards Of Love" - It's the drums that did it for me. Their performance of "The Rake's Song" on "Later..." had nearly every member of the band pounding along to the beat. An Indie-Folk version of the Kodo Drummers. The first time I'd heard The Decemberists I dismissed them for being indie-folksters and far too fey. This album sounds a bit more stadium rock, which should be a bad thing, but ... what can I say. In fact there are a number of reasons (rock opera, concept album, repeating song cycles) that mean I shouldn't really like this as much as I do but there's something going on (Prog rock I suspect!) I like a lot.

4. Dan Auerbach "Keep It Hid" - The half of the Black Keys that isn't the drummer goes it alone for a solo album. "Keep It Hid" doesn't stray too far from the Black Keys' bluesy template. Auerbach gets the opportunity to try out a full band for size and achieves a slightly lusher and fuller sound.

5. Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears "Tell 'Em What Your Name Is!" - Another "Later ..." spot. Whatever you might think of Jools Holland he does offer great exposure for up and coming bands. This is a 60's Stax style, garage-soul revue, recorded in James Browns attic. It's not breaking any new barriers, and at times it sounds like Motown Karaoke, but it's definitely full on party music!

Top 5 Christmas Albums

A very merry Christmas to you all.

Having already done Songs and Films I was rapidly running out of ideas for Crimbo top fives but this one seemed like a topic I could have a fair crack at. Most of these are available to listen for free via Spotify (if you're not signed up and need an invite let me know). Full list on Amazon here

1. Various "A Christmas Gift For You from Phil Spector" (1963)

Classic compilation of Christmas songs recorded by Spector's roster of Artists. Darlene Love, The Crystals, Bob B. Soxx and of course the wonderful Ronettes.

Amazon link

2. Low "Christmas EP" (1999)

So, officially, this is an E.P. but these eight tracks are a genuine contrast to the standard Christmas fare. Low's characteristic restrained and sparse style provide the perfect theme for the end of a long Christmas day. When everyone has gone home and you're left putting away the crockery and finding places to store all the new toys.

Amazon link

3. Jethro Tull "The Jethro Tull Christmas Album" (2003)

A compilation of Tull's best known Christmas songs (re-recorded), bulked out with some new songs and traditional covers.

Amazon link

4. Vince Guaraldi Trio "A Charlie Brown Christmas" (1965)

The soundtrack to the television special of the same name. I'm not a big Jazz fan but this is music that takes me back to my childhood and a point when Christmas was the most exciting time of the year.

Amazon link

5. The Ventures "The Ventures' Christmas Album" (1965)

Sixties surf instrumentalists take on the Christmas song in their own inimitable style. Versions of their own hits segue (almost) seamlessly into Crimbo classics.

Amazon link

That'll be it until later in the New Year when I'll be back with my favourites of 2009. Have a great holiday and best wishes for 2010.