Guest Top 5 Bond Villains by Daniel Smith

This post has been in collaboration with Daniel Smith. I know very little about Daniel other than that he is a big James Bond fan with a passing interest in poker. A man of mystery then which seems rather appropriate considering his subject choice.

Every James Bond film has a primary villain that Bond must face off against and in many cases risk his life in order to defeat. While all have been formidable in their own way, there are some that have stood above the rest of 50 years of Bond films. Today we give the top 5 villains in James Bond film history.

5. Francisco Scaramanga

Christopher Lee has made a career at playing the bad guy and his portrayal of Fransisco Scaramanga in The Man with the Golden Gun was no exception. Critics and fans of Ian Fleming's books both agree that Lee's character was the spitting image of the character in the original book.

4. Le Chiffre

The character of Le Chiffre was one of the major highlights of the 2008 remake of Casino Royale. His torture of Bond during the film really put him over the top. A little known fact about Mads Mikkelsen is that he is actually really good at poker in real life.

3. Jaws

Jaws is bigger than life, and we mean that literally. He is one of the most beloved and most well known of all Bond villains and wound up appearing in both The Spy who Loved Me and Moonraker. In addition, he has been used in many James Bond video games as a playable character.

2. Oddjob

Harold Sakata played the strong but silent assassin for Goldfinger and has a steel rim bowler that can be used to cut the heads off statues and people. This alone makes him one of the cooler villains of the series, and he never spoke a word.

1. Ernst Stavro Bloefeld

Appearing in four movies, the most of any Bond villain, the leader of SPECTRE is easily the greatest amongst Bond villains. He also is prominently featured in many of Ian Fleming's books. He is the equivalent of Moriarty, but much cooler.

Top 5 John Barry compositions

I was very sad to hear the news that John Barry had passed away. His music played a huge part in the films I enjoyed growing up, and so many of those themes bring back wonderful images of some of my favourite movies. Bond gave me my first taste of John Barry and I have already done a Bond Theme top five, but his collection of work is much greater than just soundtracking our favourite British Spy.

If you want to pick up a complete collection of his very best work I can highly recommend Themeology. That is an album I've played an awful lot and at £3.99 is a bit of a bargain. If you've got more cash to spare then try Thempendium which is a fairly exhaustive four CD box set.

It's really tough to put the five tracks I've selected into order and I really think any one of these could be in top position and I'd still be happy. Have to stick to my own rules though so this is what I think right now.

1. Theme from The Persuaders - Spine tingling intro to the seventies crime series starring Roger Moore and Tony Curtis.



2. The James Bond Theme - A monster of a tune that whatever Barry's role in its creation (Officially a Monty Norman composition arranged by JB) defined the sound of nearly all the Bond music that followed.



3. Midnight Cowboy - Haunting harmonica driven tune that provides the melancholy backing to the latter part of the film.



4. Main Title Theme from The Ipcress File - Intertwines perfectly with the sounds of Harry Palmer in the kitchen as he makes coffe and gets ready for the day.



5. We Have All The Time In The World - One of my all time favourite songs.



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Top 5 Bond Pre-Title Sequences

As requested then, these are my top 5 pre-title sequences - the opening scenes of most Bond movies that usually fit between the gun barrel sequence and the opening titles. My memory for this sort of stuff is pretty shocking, so I've spent a couple of hours trawling through YouTube to remind myself what sequence goes with what film. For a change I've managed to pick a few films that didn't feature Connery as Bond and were made after 1977.

1. The Spy Who Loved Me (Location: Austrian Alps)
This was, I believe, the first Bond film I saw in the cinema. Roger Moore leaves a "lady friend" behind in a alpine cabin to answer a call to return to HQ. Skies off, with a spectacular mountain backdrop, only to be attacked by a group of Russian agents. Despite some ropey effects (Moore clearly in a studio in front of a blue screen) and a worryingly camp yellow ski suit, it's a spectacular start to the film. Ends with Bond skiing over the edge of a massive cliff, heading into free fall before unfurling a parachute emblazoned with the Union Jack.

2. Goldeneye (Location: Chemical Weapons Facility, USSR)
Brosnan's first movie, and the first Bond film for some six years, gets off to a stunning start with this fantastic sequence. An incredible bungee jump off the top of a dam, Bond uses a grapling hook to reach the bottom, then hooks up with 006 to infiltrate and plant explosives inside a Russian weapons factory. They get caught, 006 is shot and 007 is left to attempt an escape on his own. Despite being heavily outnumbered he manages to get out of the facility, rides a motorbike off a cliff before free falling after a light aircraft. Bond manages to board the plane, overpower the pilot and pull the aircraft out of a seemingly terminal nosedive, before flying to freedom as the factory explodes. Somehow I found all this perfectly acceptable despite my dislike of the Moore era. I'm so fickle.

3. Goldfinger (Location: unknown Latin American country)
A more subtle opening but one that displayed many of the devices that would become traditional in later films. Bond swims up to his target, with what looks like a fake duck stuck to his head. Plants explosives in an enemy base, departs, stepping out of his wetsuit to reveal an immaculate white tuxedo. Plenty of close up opportunities on his Rolex Submariner. He arrives at a local bar for a quick drink, during which the bomb goes boom, Bond nips up stairs to see a "lady friend" who is waiting in the bath. Mid kiss he is attacked from behind, but manages to place the girl in the way. Eventually overpowers his attacker, before electrocuting him in the bath with an electric heater. Departs with a witty one liner "Shocking! Truly Shocking!".

4. The World Is Not Enough (Location: Bilbao & London)
Possibly a little on the long side, this is almost a mini-film in it's own right. It's the London scenes that do it for me. Bond talks with Q (Desmond Llewellyn's last performance as Q before his death) in Thames Bank house before smashing out the back in the Q-boat in pursuit of the same assassin he saw in Spain. The chase ends at the Millennium dome with the assassin attempting an escape in a hot-air balloon before taking her own life when it is clear escape is impossible.

5. On Her Majesty's Secret Service (Location: Lisbon)
Lazenby in a new Aston Martin DBS is overtaken by a mystery female in a Mercury Cougar. He spies her walking down a beach towards the sea about to take her own life. Bond races down to pull her out of the ocean only to be pounced on by a couple of armed thugs. Eventually overcomes them only to see the girl, Teresa Di Vincenzo, driving off in his DBS.

Top 5 Bond Theme Music

I'd originally planned to do five Bond top fives as a build up to the new film release but, as is so often the case when compiling them, I had one more subject I didn't want to leave out. How to fit six into five? I couldn't leave Bond without an opportunity to sing John Barry's praises. So, just one more I thought, but no, Rich from my work football team suggested another topic as well. I couldn't duck away from the challenge so, if my typing fingers are up to it, there should be a second top 5 up later today.

1. The James Bond Theme (Monty Norman, arr. John Barry)
The opening theme for "Dr No" has also become the ubiquitous theme for Bond in every film and I almost thought about removing it from contention. A fantastic instrumental that caused much debate over exactly who wrote it but remains as perfect a theme tune as your likely to hear.

2. Goldfinger (John Barry/Leslie Bricusse/Antony Newley, vocal-Shirley Bassey)Another tune that I nearly considered too obvious to include. I gave it a spin early in the week and realised it's just too good to ignore. Great vocal performance from Bassey.

3. Thunderball (John Barry/Don Black, vocal-Tom Jones)
Despite a bit of a struggle to fit the title of the film into the lyrics this is a fantastic song. Fabulous horns throughout (a sure sign of great production in my book), Tom Jones cranking out the words and a dramatically held last note that supposedly resulted in Jones collapsing to the floor when he'd finished. Superb stuff.

4. We Have All The Time In The World (John Barry/Hal David, vocal-Louis Armstrong) One of my all time favourite songs, the soppy romantic that I am. Not the official theme of the film ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service" was another corking Barry instrumental) but used as the love theme for Bond and Di Vincenzo as well as the closing theme following her death.

5. From Russia With Love (John Barry/Lionel Bart, vocal-Matt Munro)
A nice bit of lounge to lull you into a false sense of security and another wonderful vocal, this time from Matt Munro.

Disclaimer: Other composers have worked on Bond scores. They're just not as good as John Barry!

Top 5 Bond Films

The new Bond film "Quantum of Solace" goes on general release today. Not sure when I'll get to see it though, these days the only time I go to the cinema it's with a room full of excited children watching the latest release from Pixar or Dreamworks.

1. Goldfinger (Dir. Guy Hamilton, 1964)
The film that defined the template for all those that followed. A super villain with a super plan, a massive laser and two failed attempts to kill Bond, the Aston Martin making it's first appearance, Shirley Eaton painted in gold, Pussy Galore and her all-girl Flying Circus. Ticks all the boxes for me.



2. From Russia With Love (Dir. Terence Young, 1963)
I think this was probably the first Bond film I ever saw which gives it a special place in my heart. Slower paced than any of the films that followed, it possibly captures the atmosphere of the novels better than any other.



3. On Her Majesty's Secret Service (Dir. Peter R. Hunt, 1969)
I might be in a minority here, but I really like OHMSS. I like Lazenby's Bond and there's the added bonus, in Diana Rigg, of a Bond girl who can hold her own with our erstwhile hero. A bit of pathos at the end and that wonderful Louis Armstrong theme tune. Possibly the best ending of any Bond movie.



4. Live and Let Die (Dir. Guy Hamilton, 1973)
I'm not a fan of the Roger Moore era but have good memories of this, his debut Bond. Some dubious attempts to benefit from the Blaxploitation boom aside, "Live and Let Die" has some great action and maintains a pacey plot throughout.



5. Thunderball (Dir. Terence Young, 1965)
So good they made it twice. Decent story line, the return of the Aston and some great underwater scenes. Still not sure about the practicalities of that jet pack though.

Top 5 Bond Villains

You can't beat a good super-villain ... unless your name is Bond.

1. Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Donald Pleasence, You Only Live Twice) - The head of SPECTRE had more opportunities than most to kill off Bond, having some involvement in six of the films. This must make him either the most resilient or the least successful of Bond adversaries. His first film appearances (From Russia With Love & Thunderball) kept his face and identity hidden, revealing only his hands and voice. This added an element of mystery to the character as the unseen controlling influence behind each villainous plot. However, it's Donald Pleasence's performance that brought Blofeld to life and confirmed his status as the greatest of Bond's opponents.

2. Auric Goldfinger (Gert Fröbe, Goldfinger) - With Bond strapped to a table and a massive laser about to slice him in two, 007 asks if Goldfinger expects this to make him to talk. Goldfingers response "No Mr Bond, I expect you to die!" is undoubtedly my favourite quote from any Bond film. The irony is that even in this seemingly helpless situation, Goldfinger still fails to finish Bond off. In the end it's Goldfinger that croaks, getting sucked out of a plane after shooting at Bond and cracking the window.

3. Dr. Julius No (Joseph Wiseman, Dr. No) - Initially comes across as an intelligent and ruthless foe, Dr No is eventually revealed to be a slightly unhinged psychotic nut. Despite several attempts to kill Bond off he never quite succeeds and is eventually killed by boiling to death in the coolant tank of his own nuclear reactor. In the novel he is killed by being buried under a massive heap of guano, the harvesting of which was supposed to provide a legitimate cover for his real activities.

4. Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya, From Russia with Love) - Quite possibly the scariest of all Bond's enemies, Klebb is Blofeld's leading agent in From Russia With Love, having formally been a member of SMERSH. In the final scenes of the film, at a point when it seems the action is over, she gains entry to Bond's apartment dressed as a maid to try and recover a cryptographic device. After a brief scuffle she makes an unsuccessful attempt on Bond's life, attempting to kill him with poison tipped spikes in her shoes.

5. Francisco Scaramanga (Christopher Lee, The Man with the Golden Gun) - Three nipples and a gold-plated single-shot pistol constructed from a pen, a lighter, some cuff links and a cigarette case. Scaramanga is a man very much in Bond's mold and proves a tricky foe to dispatch.

Top 5 Bond Gadgets

Bond's use of gadgetry is evident in the novels but it was in the films that they really came to the fore, becoming one of the key elements of any good Bond film.

1. Aston Martin DB5 (Goldfinger & Thunderball) - I make no apologies for the DB5 winning another category. It's a marvellous car but its the Q-Branch modifications that enable it to claim top gadget; revolving licence plates, tyre slashers that double as spinner hubcaps, a passenger ejector seat, a rear bulletproof shield, forward machine guns concealed behind the headlights, rearward defenses including smoke and oil slick sprayers. All essential items for the late 60's spy on the run in his vintage car.

2. Attaché Case (From Russia With Love) - This might not seem appropriate for the modern spy attempting to operate undercover in a foreign country but in 1963 this was an essential item for the British businessman abroad. Of course Bond's case came equipped with a foldaway AR-7 sniper’s rifle, a knife, 50 gold sovereigns and a canister of teargas primed to explode if it was opened by anyone other than it's owner. Makes an off-screen, and humorous, reappearance in Goldfinger when Bond is told it has been "damaged" whilst being examined by Goldfinger's henchmen.

3. Rolex Oyster Submariner (Live & Let Die) - The Rolex Submariner is worn by Bond in a number of films, but stakes it's claim for gadget glory when it is returned to Bond at the start of "Live & Let Die" after being "repaired" by Q-Branch. The modified watch has a powerful electro-magnet that can (and I'm really not quite convinced about the science of this) deflect bullets and also a spinning bezel which is subsequently used by Bond to free himself from his rope restraints and escape the pool of man-eating sharks.

4. Sony Ericsson Mobile Phone (Tomorrow Never Dies) - Now THIS is a phone that can multi-task. Never mind your mega pixel camera or MP3 player (though it probably has those as well) this phone loads up with a spectacular array of useful tools. A stun gun, a fingerprint scanner, analyzer and transmitter that can also be used for opening high-tech fingerprint-identification locks, and a lock pick. As if that weren't enough it also houses a flip-open remote control for the control of his BMW 750iL. I've got a Sony Ericsson phone, I've not yet worked out how to access these functions.

5. Jet packs (Thunderball)- Thunderball saw the use of two different types of jet pack. The standard variety enables Bond to escape after killing SPECTRE agent Colonel Bouvar. Though slightly ungainly in execution the scene did provide an iconic moment in the film. Later he uses an underwater jet pack, equipped with explosive tipped spear guns as he attempts to capture Largo and fend off his henchmen.

More gadget related information here, here and here.

Top 5 Bond Girls

Well, I have to confess this was quite fun putting together. So many beautiful women to choose from but it takes more than looks to be a great Bond Girl. A bit of savvy, a bit of style, a mischievous glint in the eye - I'm not sure I can quite define it. In fact I've struggled to write anything for the final five that wasn't either edging towards pervy or slightly too Terry Thomas. Think I'll leave it for the pictures to do the talking.

1. Honey Ryder - Ursula Andress (Dr No, 1962)



2. Teresa Di Vincenzo - Diana Rigg (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, 1969)



3. Domino Derval - Claudine Auger (Thunderball, 1964)



4. Jill Masterson - Shirley Eaton (Goldfinger, 1964)



5. Solitaire - Jane Seymour (Live and Let Die, 1973)

Top 5 Bond Cars

Bond is back! The new film "Quantum of Solace" is due for release on 31st October which gives me 5 weeks of Bond Top fives to get everyone in the mood. The Times ran their own top ten not that long ago too, check out the link if you're interested.

1. Aston Martin DB5 (Goldfinger, 1964) - This is THE Bond car. It's not the one Fleming used in the books but it's the first car used in the film series and the car I most associate with Bond. Packed full of gadgets including an ejector seat, machine guns and rotating number plates it was the look and style that really won me over. I've still got my Corgi model of it somewhere at home (though I think the man that got fired out of the ejector seat has long gone). It also made appearances in Thunderball (1965), Goldeneye (1995), Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) and Casino Royale (2006), which I think is more than any other car. I could quite easily completed a Top 5 of Aston Martins, they're lovely cars. The Aston Martin DBS used in OHMSS comes a close second for me and the Aston Martin DBS from Casino Royale is just as stunning.



2. Bentley Mark IV (From Russia With Love, 1963) - OK, so it never actually existed as a real car but this was Bond’s car in many of Ian Fleming’s novels. A Derby Bentley was used in it's place for a brief cameo during From Russia With Love and the car was mentioned obliquely during the 2006 version of Casino Royale.



3. Lotus Esprit S1 (The Spy Who Loved Me, 1977) - It's a very eighties design and not the sort of car I'd normally like. All square corners and ugly angular styling. However, once you've seen it turn into a submarine it takes on a whole new aspect. I think this might have been the first Bond film I saw in the cinema and that moment, as the car dives into the sea, is one that has stayed with me ever since. Torpedoes too!



4. Ford Mustang Mach-1 (Diamonds Are Forever, 1971) - This car didn't belong to Bond but a wild chase through the streets of Las Vegas is enough to give me an excuse to get a Mustang in the list. You've gotta love an American muscle car.



5. AMC Hornet X (The Man With The Golden Gun, 1974) - Possibly not the most auspicious car Bond has driven, this gains all it's magic from a fabulous car chase in which Bond, having stolen the Hornet from a car dealership and with Sheriff J.W. Pepper alongside for "comic" interjection, pursues Scaramanga who has agent Goodnight locked in his boot. It's a great car chase, and the Hornet earns it's place with a spectacular corkscrew jump over the river. Scaramanga is also driving an AMC car, a Matador which also gains more kudos than it might otherwise achieve by transforming into a plane. Who wouldn't want a car like that? On a side note in trying to find out what cars these were I stumbled across this site which has a fairly damning description of AMC cars in general and a nice picture of a Matador.

Top 5 Bonds

It is an exceedingly quiet Sunday so might as well get another Top 5 up and running with another easy topic. My top five James Bond's.

1. Sean Connery

2. George Lazenby

3. Pierce Brosnan

4. Roger Moore

5. Daniel Craig

Sean Connery - Well he is Bond. Whilst Moore was the big screen Bond for most of the time I was growing up, Connery had already staked his rightful claim to the role by being on the telly every Christmas. The Connery movies seem to be closest to the Ian Fleming books, a classic sixties British spy thriller. For me Connery is the perfect Bond and everyone else are just reaching for second place.

George Lazenby - Yes he only made one film, but it was a good one. It had Diana Rigg in it and that gorgeous end theme by Louis Armstrong. I suspect if Lazenby had gone on to make more films his stock with me might have slipped but from my point of view George was the closest Bond to Connery's version and therefore deserves this lofty position.

Pierce Brosnan - I remember when he was playing Remington Steel I was appalled at the suggestion that he might play Bond. In his place I think Timothy Dalton stepped in and in doing so became the worst Bond of all time. When Brosnan finally did get his chance it heralded and fresh start for Bond and I was excited about the prospect of going to watch a Bond film in the cinema once more. He has one blot on his copy book which is the appalling "Die Another Day" but I'm prepared to let him off that for now.

Roger Moore - My best friend and I used to argue over who was the best Bond. I, obviously, thought Sean Connery whilst he argued the case for Roger Moore. My best put down to this was that in my view Roger Moore was only the 3rd best Bond. With the passage of time he's now slipped to 4th - sorry DB. Actually Roger made some of the best Bond movies so I am probably being too harsh on him but the feeling that with his later films the whole Bond experience took a nose dive is something I still not yet prepared to forgive.

Daniel Craig - I really wanted to like this. The tougher, meaner Bond was something I should have liked. I've only seen "Casino Royale" once so maybe I'll enjoy more with future viewings but initially I felt they were trying too hard to be gritty and real. I'm also a little disappointed they didn't let Quentin Tarantino direct it, not that it would have made it a better Bond, but it would certainly have been an interesting one. Craig's got time to make up the ground though so never say never!