Friday, 6 July 2012

Guest Top 5 70s Choppers (Chop Will Eat Itself) by Dan Whaley

It's been a while since I last published a guest top five so what better way to kick of a run of new ones that with the return of my very first guest contributer Dan Whaley. Dan is a multi-instrumentalist who has played in a myriad of bands, including The Charles Napiers, The McDeath Trio and most recently The DC3. He previously provided this gem about his top five dutch artists and responded to my persistent badgering with a topic that could not be more appropriate and which I'm at a loss to explain why I'd never considered doing myself.

1) The Raleigh Chopper

For anyone who was a kiddy growing up in the 70s, this was the bike to aspire to. This despite the fact that it was a hog to ride – heavy as you like, with a very real risk of impaling your knackers on the low down gear lever, especially if you were giving a mate a “backie”. About 10 years ago Raleigh launched a new “safer” version, which like pretty much all remakes (e.g. BMW’s Mini, Stallone’s Get Carter, etc) was a bag of shite compared to the original.

2) Ron “Chopper” Harris

The reason why anyone with the surname Harris is called Chopper. Back when I gave a monkey’s about football, Chelsea was the team I supported. For me, he summons up a time when football was about genuine blokes playing proper sport, not the dog and pony show it has descended into today. But maybe I’m just an old git.

3) Bell Jet Ranger Helicopter

It seems that this make and model of chopper featured in just about every film and TV programme in the 70s. If I think of a helicopter, this is exactly the model that comes to mind. Not that I spend much time thinking about helicopters, mind...

4) Ron Jeremy

As 70s grumbleflick actors go, he’s perhaps not as well known as John Holmes, but Ron always seemed to approach his work with more humour, gusto and enthusiasm than JH. Plus he’s still alive and still going strong. And why is he in a list of 70s choppers? Because a) he wields a not unimpressive 9¾ inch long hog’s leg and b), his party trick involves rolling himself up into a ball and giving himself a 34-and-a-halfer. Chop will indeed eat itself...

5) The Guillotine

Last used in France as late as the 1977, unbelievably. The final victim of the guillotine was a chap by the name of Hamida Djandoubi. Actually, he sounded like an absolute bounder, so probably deserved it.

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