Friday, 5 February 2010

Top 5 Quotes from The Simpsons

This week was going to be my Top 5 movies of 2009 but there were some major contenders I hadn't got round to seeing yet (The Damned United, Watchmen and Inglorious Basterds to name just three) so I figured I'd leave that for another day. To tide you over here's a double dose of my favourite Simpson's quotes to celebrate 20 years of the little yellow critters.

Top 5 Homer Simpson Quotes

1. "Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems."

2. "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

3. "You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way."

4. "Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?"

5. "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course, and I forgot how to drive?"

Top 5 quotes from other Simpsons characters

1. Lionel Hutz: "This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”"

2. Sideshow Bob: "Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?"

3. Ned Flanders: "I’ve done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!"

4. Comic Book Guy: "But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds… Oh, I’ve wasted my life."

5. Krusty the Clown: "And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold."

1 comment:

Patrick said...

Some good ones there Dave... you missed the one where Homer chucks a sickie. The phone rings and Marge answers it and says "It's the plant, they say if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in on Monday" to which Homer replies "Woohoo, 4 day weekend!!!"